Front Range 4x4 Upcoming Trail Runs - Add a New Trail Run

Page 1 of 18 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 355

Thread: Share your Jokes!

  1. #1

    lmao Share your Jokes!



    I figured I'd get it going..

    Post any funny jokes you know AS LONG AS THEY DON'T SERIOUSLY OFFEND OTHERS so keep the language pg13 and so on..

    We can start with an Old People Joke.. Chase?

  2. #2

    Default



    Hahaha awesome

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Member
    #815
    Last Online
    June 10th, 2018
    Location
    Arvada / Evergreen
    Age
    28
    4x4
    97 Isuzu Rodeo 3.2 4x4
    Posts
    907
    User Name
    Squshiee1
    Real Name
    Chase Strait
    Thanks Given
    1
    Thanked 14 Times in 12 Posts

    Default



    As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Peter, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

    "Heck," said Peter, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #103
    Last Online
    August 9th, 2012
    Posts
    10,588
    User Name
    Brody
    Real Name
    Pete Brody

    Default



    Post any funny jokes you know AS LONG AS THEY DON'T SERIOUSLY OFFEND OTHERS

    As if this has stopped people before, especially when it comes to the feeling(s) of some of the more sensitive older members...

  5. #5

    Default



    Excluding Pete's feeling was implied

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Member
    #595
    Last Online
    21 Hours Ago
    Location
    Evergreen, Co
    4x4
    2008 Jeep Rubicon
    Posts
    4,828
    User Name
    Jackie
    Real Name
    Jackie
    Thanks Given
    656
    Thanked 520 Times in 386 Posts

    Default



    Sunshine24 previously posted:
    "and...I have to bust out some old Norwegian jokes"

    Don't forget to include Nina!!! Sven and Nina were quite the couple!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #1
    Last Online
    November 21st, 2023
    Location
    Port St. Lucie, FL
    Age
    73
    4x4
    4Runner
    Posts
    14,279
    User Name
    Chris
    Real Name
    Chris
    Thanks Given
    576
    Thanked 801 Times in 591 Posts

    lmao



    Enough old man jokes!

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself. "You know love," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, my butt is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."

    She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

    He thinks about it for a bit and then says, "Well... there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
    ___________
    Chris in Florida

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Member
    #595
    Last Online
    21 Hours Ago
    Location
    Evergreen, Co
    4x4
    2008 Jeep Rubicon
    Posts
    4,828
    User Name
    Jackie
    Real Name
    Jackie
    Thanks Given
    656
    Thanked 520 Times in 386 Posts

    Default



    A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he was in a good mood that day he decided to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name." Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

    The man replies... "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Fred." The officer let him go without even a warning. :-)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #1
    Last Online
    November 21st, 2023
    Location
    Port St. Lucie, FL
    Age
    73
    4x4
    4Runner
    Posts
    14,279
    User Name
    Chris
    Real Name
    Chris
    Thanks Given
    576
    Thanked 801 Times in 591 Posts

    Default



    With these Ole and Lena jokes I'm beginning to feel like I'm back in Minnesota, ya sure you betcha!
    ___________
    Chris in Florida

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #103
    Last Online
    August 9th, 2012
    Posts
    10,588
    User Name
    Brody
    Real Name
    Pete Brody

    Default



    De talk like dat in de dakotas, too. Vut? You never seen Fargo? Vut is vrong vit you?

    My mom was from Minot...Ya sure!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #1
    Last Online
    November 21st, 2023
    Location
    Port St. Lucie, FL
    Age
    73
    4x4
    4Runner
    Posts
    14,279
    User Name
    Chris
    Real Name
    Chris
    Thanks Given
    576
    Thanked 801 Times in 591 Posts

    Default



    Lots of Fargo was filmed in the Minneapolis suburbs which was kind of fun.

    My 90+ year old neighbor was a Scandanavian immigrant, he was a hoot and a model of keeping active. I was surprised to see him re-roofing his house when we first moved in until I found that he never let age stop him from anything.
    ___________
    Chris in Florida

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Member
    #829
    Last Online
    December 15th, 2022
    Location
    Westminster
    Age
    53
    4x4
    '13 JK "Linus"
    Posts
    2,071
    User Name
    Heather
    Real Name
    DRT GRL
    Thanks Given
    186
    Thanked 120 Times in 100 Posts

    Default



    mattzj98 previously posted:
    "Excluding Pete's feeling was implied"

    Not making allowances for Pete's feeling?

  13. #13

    Default



    Haha.. allawances..

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #103
    Last Online
    August 9th, 2012
    Posts
    10,588
    User Name
    Brody
    Real Name
    Pete Brody

    Default



    Haha.. allawances..

    Allowance.

    What the hell is 'allawance', anyway? Ebonics?

    You and your Engrish...

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #1
    Last Online
    November 21st, 2023
    Location
    Port St. Lucie, FL
    Age
    73
    4x4
    4Runner
    Posts
    14,279
    User Name
    Chris
    Real Name
    Chris
    Thanks Given
    576
    Thanked 801 Times in 591 Posts

    Default



    Are you another former Minnesota Robyn?
    ___________
    Chris in Florida

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #103
    Last Online
    August 9th, 2012
    Posts
    10,588
    User Name
    Brody
    Real Name
    Pete Brody

    Default



    Dakota...the colder of the two, unless I am mistaken.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Member
    #737
    Last Online
    June 25th, 2017
    Location
    Loveland, CO
    4x4
    1987 Land Cruiser
    Posts
    190
    User Name
    ColoRaider
    Real Name
    Robbie
    Thanks Given
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default



    This guy walks into a bar with his chihuahua, he sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says to th eman.
    "Im sorry but we cant serve you hear with that dog" to which the man replies "OH, this is my seeing eye dog."
    Puzzled the bartender asks... "They gave you a chihuahua for a seeing eye dog?"
    the man jumps up and yells.
    "THEY GAVE ME A FUGGIN CHIHUAHUA!!!!"

  18. #18

    Default



    A salesman hugs a girl.. Girl: What the hell is this? Salesman: It is direct marketing.. Girl slaps him.. Salesman: What is this? Girl: It is a customer's feedback!

  19. #19

    Default



    Sim: Why it is hard to find the boys who are handsome, sensitive, caring and gentle? Jaine: Because they already have a boyfriend!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Member
    #1
    Last Online
    November 21st, 2023
    Location
    Port St. Lucie, FL
    Age
    73
    4x4
    4Runner
    Posts
    14,279
    User Name
    Chris
    Real Name
    Chris
    Thanks Given
    576
    Thanked 801 Times in 591 Posts

    Default



    Sunshine24 previously posted:
    "Correct Pete..North Dakota "

    Brrr!
    ___________
    Chris in Florida

Page 1 of 18 1234 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Health insurance story to share
    By Jackie in forum Chat
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: June 4th, 2012, 07:02 PM
  2. I was told to Share this Joke
    By Errinjan in forum Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: January 24th, 2012, 08:32 AM
  3. Just had to share this
    By Colin in forum 4x4 Videos & Photos of Interest
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: January 18th, 2012, 05:22 PM
  4. Had to Share - Rollcage!
    By Chris in forum Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: November 1st, 2011, 01:00 PM
  5. Looking for a rider to share gas for Eagle Rock
    By Brody in forum General Topics
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: January 28th, 2010, 08:40 AM

Members who have read this thread: 160

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
BACK TO TOP